Why Is Raising Children So Hard?
Just a century ago, raising children did come with a sort of instruction book. Kids were seen and not heard, parents ruled the roost, children complied. Parents were often the protectors from the mean school teacher. Grandma and Grandpa were the spoilers, cooking up a batch of pancakes on Sunday morning. Aunt Mary knit the kids a blanket, cousins shared comic books and went ice skating together. The nuclear family was intact. Kids had someone to complain to, along with doting relatives who sympathized ñ up to a point. In this fairytale age, raising children was an endeavor with a foregone conclusion. This is no longer true.
With the disintegration of the nuclear family, both children and parents are left adrift. Family members may now be thousands of miles apart. Family websites may be as close as kids will get to true family interaction. Today’s parents are pretty much left on their own. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and cousins no longer have a real time role in raising children.
Without family support, the burden on parents increases. In the old family structure, grandparents mitigated minor disagreements. Kids received a pat on the back, along with a recommendation to heed the parent’s advice. This tug and pull made the parent’s job of raising children easier. Kids felt that, although their parents were strict, other family members were supportive. This family dynamic served to iron out the peaks and valleys. Parents weren’t so terribly awful. Raising children to responsible adulthood was a far easier task.
Today, parents must stand alone. They have no visible support. Kids do not have the rest of the family to lean on or bounce off. The result? Kids weigh their opinions against their parent’s teaching. The older, wiser family members are left out of the conversation, to the detriment of both kids and parents. The parent’s idea of raising children is left, blowing in the wind like so much dust, from a kid’s point of view.
Raising children today is challenging indeed. Parents must now wear many hats, filling the roles of aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent and parent. Kids need to see all sides of the picture. Aunt Mary, the fashion maven, understands your daughter’s desire for the hottest fashions. She fulfills a portion of your daughter’s unique personality needs. Grandma may be old, but no one makes a better batch of cookies and hot chocolate. Uncle Bob can tell your son about the intricacies of the car business. Rare is the individual parent who can fulfill all of these roles.
Parents must rely on an abundance of love, compassion and understanding to see them through the challenges of raising children. While there seems to be no immediate reward, you just need to be stalwart for several years. Parenthood is fraught with worry. Parents who persevere in their objectives and remember the lessons of past generations, should do quite well. Kids, pay attention!
