Toilet paper is now a matter for the savvy shopper’s

Toilet paper is now a matter for the savvy shopper’s scrutiny!

The weekly foray to the grocery store for our household needs is just not as much fun as it used to be. My husband still insists that I just love to go grocery shopping. Little does he know that the hours I spend perusing the grocery aisles of three or four stores are largely concerned with those little labels that indicate ‘price per ounce’ or whatever measurement in which the product is broken down in a unit price. This takes time, but if you want to eat nutritiously, you can no longer idly toss that container of basil pesto (my weakness), or a 2-pound block of cheese, into the cart, without first examining the cost.

Now, I don’t mind the basil pesto exam, but when it comes to analyzing toilet paper, I’d just as soon skip the math. However, on a recent shopping excursion, I was shocked to note the sticker on one of the large, economy packages of toilet paper, a whopping $14.57 at the cheapest store in town. Yikes! They’ve got to be kidding. They aren’t.

OK, I say, under my breath. Look at that unit price sticker. There seems to be some discrepancy between toilet paper brands, because the unit price doesn’t jive with the price in a logical way. Now, you need to be Sherlock Holmes. Let’s take a look at the package details.

You’ve got sheets per roll. Some are single sheets, some are double. The sizes of each sheet vary from one manufacturer to another. How much difference does it make when one toilet paper has sheets that measure 4 1/2 per sheet while another has 4 3/4 sheets? The math is quickly becoming a migraine maker. One brand makes a case for better absorbency, with its patented quilted pattern embossed on each sheet. Another brand makes no claim for softness, but seems to be a better deal. Do I need a calculator to determine the actual square footage? Oh, thankfully not. The square footage of each roll of toilet paper is given in the fine print. Does this mean that a single thickness roll of the same square footage goes as far as a double thickness roll of the same square footage? Must we have a scratchy behind or can we splurge on the embossed sheets? Exasperation sets in. The ice cream I picked up several aisles ago must be getting soft.

Since this new shopping challenge was added to my lovely day of shopping, I’ve learned that you just have to choose a toilet paper that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg and lasts long enough so as not to offend your wallet too badly.

That is, until the price takes another jump into the twilight zone.