Managing Teenage Relationships
As a toddler, you were probably closely bonded with your Mom. In grade school, you became introduced to the society of your peers, other kids just venturing out into the world. As a pre-teen, you craved independence from Mom, wanting to exercise what she taught you in the forum of kids your own age. Dad probably became more important in your life. Now, as a teen, you may feel you have got all the information you need to interact socially in teenage relationships.
Hey, surprise! Mom knows that you are spreading your wings and she can only hope that what she’s imparted to you, in terms of social relationships, will stand you in good stead. While she may yearn to cuddle you, she knows she’s got to give you a certain amount of freedom. She also knows that teenage relationships are fickle, at best. After all, she was a teenager herself, way back in the day.
As you enter your teen-aged years, you discover a multitude of problems. While Mom is always there for you, you do not exactly welcome her interfering ways. you have got plenty of friends who think you are totally cool. That absolutely cool boy or girl in your math class may not pass muster with Mom and Dad, but that is because he or she is young and your parents are not. What you need to understand is that teenage relationships are of the most fragile nature. While this week, Joe is your dream come true, he may be a pure cad next week. Perhaps you over estimated his good points, due to a lack of experience. Maybe he handed you a bunch of lines and now, you see through him. If you are a guy, have girlfriends taken advantage of your good nature? How about the macho boys, a group with which you want to be associated?
Teenage relationships are so often a testing ground, the predecessors of mature friendships. Keep in mind that all of your friends are going through the same developmental stages. Your friends may be focused on fashion, music, socializing, martial arts, or studies. Just as in adult society, teens are diverse in their interests. The difference between teenage relationships and adult relationships is simply that adults have more experience.
Teens tend to be absolute in their choices of friends, expecting that a friend must perfectly meet all of your expectations. that is why it happens that this week’s BFF becomes a disdained enemy next week, or next month. It helps to understand that your friends, like you, have the same lack of experience and expectations of perfection. Try to take your friends as they are. Character does matter. If a new friend is a big flirt, but is honest in her dealings with you and does not flirt with your boyfriend, learn to accept her as she is. She’s still developing, just like you!
Perhaps the best generic advice on teenage relationships is to live and let live. Be observant of your friend’s behavior and demonstrations of character and integrity. While your current BFF may be a terrible flirt, she’ll probably grow out of it and could be a good friend for a long while to come. Without being overly judgmental, be discerning. Hanging with kids who are honorable is a good thing. Just remember that everyone has a fault or two.
