Do Not Give People Advice On Relationships!

Virtually everyone is asked for their advice on relationships, at some time or another. With the exception of under-age kids and their parents, the best advice is to stay out of giving advice on relationships. With friends, this almost always ends with the person to whom you gave the requested advice, blaming you for the outcome, seriously compromising or even losing the friendship.

The person asking wants you to side with them, naturally. But you can bet that there are two sides to every story. What you do not know often comes back to bite you. Can you imagine your best friend coming to you with a tale of woe about a man she’s involved with, described as a sterling guy. You go along and tell her she should stay with Prince Valiant. You later find out he’s married, but since she took your advice, you are now, according to her, responsible for ‘ruining her life’. So when you are asked for your advice on relationships of which you are not a party, do not go there! Avoid it like the plague.

There are several ways to handle such a request and maintain a good relationship with the person asking. If you wish, you can let them know that you are happy and willing to listen, but that you just do not feel qualified to advise them. Let them know that your personal relationship with them would naturally bias your response, which might lead to a wrong decision and you do not want to interfere in that way. Most people will agree with you, because they know that what they really need to do is to vent. They will make the final decision on what they do anyway.

You might also suggest that a counselor or psychologist, someone not quite so close to this personal relationship, might give them dynamite advice in a heartbeat. they are pros, with training and a balanced view.

Another way you might do some good is to suggest they check out some of the relationship advice self help type of books. If you do not know of one off the top of your head, look online and read some reviews. Give your friend a short list of what you find and let them decide. This can be a helpful strategy whereby you show that your friend’s relationship problems concern you enough to make an effort to find more good professional advice on relationships. Besides, by the time you have come up with some books, the lover’s spat may have already been resolved!

Now, you are ahead of the game. Next time someone asks you for advice on relationships ñ to which you are not a party ñ you have got some book suggestions right at hand!

Now, there are plenty of people who are eager to give their advice on relationships. Less politely stated, it is called meddling. So, if you are the one seeking advice and run into a meddler, more than willing to tell you what you should do, say ‘Thanks, I think I just figured it all out! See ya!’