Dealing With Children and Discipline
There is not a job in existence that requires more skill, patience and effort than dealing with children. And discipline is certainly one of those things that no one really tells you how to handle in the most effective way possible. For that reason, many parents struggle when it comes to their children and discipline. Here then are my tips and advice when it comes to dealing with children and discipline.
Children and discipline are like gardening. You need to provide the right soil and conditions, but most of all, each child, like each plant, have different needs and therefore, different approaches. No two children are the same and therefore, no two children should be disciplined exactly the same. Just as you would not plant a palm tree next to a cactus or a rose bush, each child needs things differently, especially discipline.
Why do we have to discipline children anyway? Well, the crux of it is that children lack the skills, ability and mentality to make the best choices all the time. In fact, this ability to have the proper judgment in all situations is seldom found in adults as well. Therefore the key to understanding children and discipline, is just that – understanding children and recognizing that discipline usually only applies when children make mistakes in judgment and in decision-making. Just as you would struggle with decisions well out of your aptitude, whether it is international finance, cooking, or rocket science, children are no more responsible for making correct decisions all of the time than you are in the situations above in which you are in over your head.
Therefore, the relationship between children and discipline is one in which discipline is only applied when children make the wrong decision. If the goal is not just to get your children to understand and atone the particular error or mistake they recently made, but to improve their ability to make better decisions, than your approach to discipline should be one that encourages that. Negative discipline is appropriate in some instances, but by and large, the most effective discipline is in helping your child develop the tools that he or she needs to improve their decision making abilities. If you are successful in doing this, you will effectively eliminate any need to discipline them at all. Positive reinforcement and teaching them the skills they need will do much more good than punishments and penalties ever would.
