Asked for your advice on love relationships? If the query

Asked for your advice on love relationships? If the query is from an adult, do not do it!

While syndicated columnists have made a career out of giving advice on love relationships, it is the very last topic you want to get involved in with an adult friend. you have probably known, from an early age, that politics and religion are best left out of ordinary social conversations. When you decide to give your advice on love to your BFF, you’d have been far better off having a knock-down drag-out on politics. At least you will not be blamed for the politician’s actions! Women are much more vulnerable to a friend’s desperate cry for help on what to do about their current love relationship. Women like to be caring, helpful and supportive, which easily leads to the syndicated columnist syndrome, a friendship pitfall like no other.

You may naturally feel flattered that your friend values your opinion. While that is true, if they are asking for your advice on love situations, it is equally true that your opinion is biased, in favor of your friend. Why, that no-good scoundrel! Who does he think he is? What a conversation starter, eh? Your words may not be quite so to-the-point, but that is the general gist of whatever your initial reaction may be. You want to be supportive, right? You must consider what might next be going through your friend’s mind.

She would not be asking you for advice if she did not love the ’scoundrel’ and therein lies the pitfall. As you fix her a nice cup of tea, bringing a box of tissue to the table, letting her know she should never allow the so-and-so to treat her so terribly, she’s already mentally zig-zagging. But, he’s normally such a wonderful person, kind, caring … and I love him! Oh, I just do not know what to do!

Your friend, in dire need of support and your advice on love, may instead carry on for a while, itemizing his many faults in great and specific detail. You sympathize every step of the way, with the best of intentions. Unwittingly, your friend is already mentally traveling down the road to reconciliation with this awful man! Meanwhile, you have placed both feet squarely in your mouth, with all of your sage remarks.

Depending on the maturity of the person asking for your advice, you might easily find yourself cast as a home breaker. He’s really not that bad! He just hurt my feelings. How do I get him back? Now you are in the frying pan! I never knew you disliked him so much! I love him! do not you want us to get back together?

People who ask for advice on love relationships usually do not really want it what they do want is to vent and that is your only legitimate role. Let that person say everything they want to divulge. Your contribution to the conversation is to advise as little as possible, while being a good listener with a full box of tissue.

When asked for advice on love, do not succumb to the meddler in you. Limit your responses to one-syllable remarks. Ohhh! that is awful! and the like. An occasional gasp is OK. Just do not get personal.

The only exception to giving advice on love relationships, is where it concerns your own underage child. Kids can be truly mixed up and really want to know what you have to say. With wisdom, love and a non-judgmental attitude, you might succeed. This is the only situation where it is worth taking such a chance. Giving advice on love is always a dicey proposition.