After parenting adolescents, you should be fit for a diplomatic

After parenting adolescents, you should be fit for a diplomatic post!

Parenting children of any age group is difficult, at best. Becoming a parent brings with it so many responsibilities, along with the need for skills you might never have required in your entire work career. Understanding and effectively dealing with children is much different than working with a group of adults. While adults have, for the most part, developed a rational and logical approach to others, kids are clueless on these points. Parenting adolescents is probably the most difficult challenge you’ll face.

Once you get into the terrible two’s, you know you’re in for a roller coaster ride of the natural phases of emotional development. Most parents get somewhat of a reprieve during the years leading up to the preteen stage. Kids are usually more pliable and willing to go along with the program, from the ages of, say 8-12. Some parents are lulled into the misconception that they’ve got everything under control and these, mostly, cooperative children will continue in this fashion right on through adolescence. Ah, you think, parenting adolescents will be a breeze. Not.

This false sense of security often leads parents down the primrose path, becoming overly indulgent. Failing to stand by your guns on the rules, establishing and maintaining reasonable limits during the 8-12 age group, can actually cause confusion in young kids. If exceptions to the rules are made, either as a reward, or just a what-the-heck attitude on your part, the lines on behavior blur.

Let’s say that you have established that bad behavior results in the consequence of a restriction of privileges and that you almost always enforce that rule. Then, a situation arises where your child has definitely crossed the line, warranting the restriction of privileges. However, on this particular day, your child has been invited to a sleepover she’s dying to attend. Oh, please, Mama! I won’t watch TV for a week, if only you’ll let me go! You give in. The message your child receives is that consequences do not necessarily apply. These occasional exceptions set you up for a more difficult period of parenting adolescents.

On the other hand, you do not want to be so strict that you are directing every move they make. There’s got to be a delicate balance between adhering to basic rules while still allowing for self expression. If you are too strict, this can lead to more extreme forms of rebellion, making parenting adolescents an absolute nightmare.

Parenting books can be useful in acquiring the skills and understanding that allow you to walk that middle line. There’s another resource, which you might not have thought of, but which can prove invaluable. Try a book on the skills diplomats employ when dealing with thorny international relations. In many ways, political leaders can be just as immovable and recalcitrant as adolescents. You may learn much about successfully parenting adolescents by studying great statesmen. While you’ll have to adapt the techniques to an adolescent point of view, such reading can be a great asset.

By the time you’ve successfully navigated the parenting adolescent phase and you’ve got a well adjusted and responsible young adult, who knows? You might find a career in diplomacy!